“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.” – Jim Rohn.
There’s a limit though isn’t there…
As someone consistently willing to choose the worst jobs available, I invite you to kick back and enjoy my personal tragi-comic lowlights.
You’ll feel all the better for it.
-Tragic Tales From Temporary Jobs-
I’m sharing my catalogue of poor choices, unusual people and the bleakest of work days from some temporary promotional jobs I’ve done over the years. For your entertainment. Because that’s truly all these memories are good for.
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Child-Obsessed At The Rugby
“HAVE YOU GOT A CHILD UNDER 8 YEARS OF AGE??”
This was the desperate phrase I repeated to crowds of rugby fans as they entered the stadium.
Everyone poured through the gates while I faced upstream like the panic-stricken woman in a movie who has lost her child. Or, in this case, wanted to barter…
Suited and Boots-ed
One particular agency insisted I always wore a pencil skirt, tight blazer and high-heels to my shift.
Wherever that shift was.
And one of the places you really don’t need to be dressed like a budget sexy secretary, is Boots.
Tasty Little Handbag
The louder you shouted “WIN YOURSELF A TASTY LITTLE HANDBAG”, the less they would bother you with the request to be more vocal please.
The phrase didn’t sit naturally with my persona.
So I had to adopt a weird cheeky-cockney-market-trader character. Which still didn’t sit naturally with my face or my voice. (My natural…
Cheese-Rolling In The Back Of A Van
With the lofty title of Team Leader I took this job far too seriously.
I was ‘supervising’ a group of very young people giving out cheese samples on the South Bank.
The central location made it a risky shift: people I’ve worked with might see me in a branded T-shirt and yellow hat, cheerily…
A Clipboard-Wielding Medusa
I’d arrive at the shopping centre before 9am to locate my stand, a roll out banner and a branded wheelie bin with the clipboards inside.
It’s where I could put away my handbag and dignity too.
Blow Your Nose – Aggressive Training
‘V’ was my trainer for the day. That’s the name she went by, I’m not trying to preserve her anonymity here. She had a strong Liverpool accent and a voice that carried. She also wore a puffa jacket and Ugg boots for the shift, despite the strict instructions that I was to turn up in…
A Fibrous Mistake
I neglected to check the railfare before this job. 7-10am giving out breakfast biscuits in Woking station for £30.00 seemed tolerable. It seemed significantly less tolerable when I’d hauled myself out of bed at 5.45am to then pay £14.00 to get there. After a quick calculation of tax deductions my wage was near non-existent. And…
How About A Nice Loose Curl
I’d exaggerated my ability to style hair.
But the pay was good because the shifts were 14 hours long, so I was determined to Have A Good Go…
Why Am I Doing This?
WHY AM I DOING THIS? Starting a blog in 2020 is the equivalent of hanging out on MSM Messenger. Nobody does it now. I know. But I wanted to wang some words out there and it turns out there is unlimited space on the internet. Raising a smile (or a least a cry-laugh emoji) makes…
Average Brunette 